


A perfectly generic human d8

by PlayTheRain



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-29
Updated: 2011-08-29
Packaged: 2017-10-23 05:00:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/246510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlayTheRain/pseuds/PlayTheRain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John and Vriska go on a normal human date to a restaurant. Post-SBURB. Everybody is alive and happy and can meet on earth and I don't care to explain how that makes sense. These two kids are just going to have an awesome, awkward first date.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The wind howled against the rooftop. Vriska Serket sat by the edge of the building; her feet swinging freely in empty air. John Egbert was reminded of a schoolgirl on a park swing. She was something wild and exotic and quiet all together in an explosive package.

She was like in the movies, when they disable a bomb and there’s a red wire and a blue wire. Except in this case every wire is the same color and there is a gazillion of them and Vriska is the bomb and she is always going to explode no matter what, and all you want to do is direct her so that she blows up in the right manner. And to do that you have to learn everything about her. And the excitement never stops.

The d8 had gone well, although not exactly where John had expected it go when it all began.

********************************************************************************

Eight o’clock in the morning, Egbert Household. John wakes up in a bed that he thrashed in his sleep. His hand swings at three places before it closes in on his glasses. They go up on this nose. He put on his clothes. It feels really weird to put on clothes at an early hour of the weekend. The clothes feel all wrong on the skin. They fit wrong too. Even the air that you breath seems wrong. But today is a date. You’re supposed to be ready and stuff right? You’re supposed to open your window and yell at the world right? John sits on a chair and fumble with his sneakers in the half-dark. Yeah there’s just no way he’s gonna do that.

Eight o’clock and a half, at a castle-like hive. Vriska looks at herself in the mirror again. Human girls don’t look like that. This is going to go wrong. He’s just going to freak out. Can’t they just do this another day? No way, no way. Today is the day and they are going to do this. She tries her shirts again. She hesitates between two. That one is new and in perfect condition. That other one is new and in perfect condition too! Except she ripped off the left sleeve. She doesn’t have to do that. She doesn’t have a robot arm anymore. So why does she do that? Because it feels right. Should she go on a date with clothes that don’t feel right? No way, _yeah!!!!!!!!_ But, but. Would a human girl wear damaged clothes on a date? Well she’s not a human girl. There she goes again to look at herself in the mirror.

A quarter before nine. John is walking outside in his neighborhood. The air is stiff and still feels weird to breath. The extremities of his limbs are tingling a bit. He should be jogging. Right? Like in the movies when the heroes are getting pumped up for the big day. To save the world. They are always jogging and stuff and doing a bazillion push-ups. Right? Ha. No way. John Egbert walks quietly on the cold pavement. Are footsteps always this loud? He reaches the end of the street. The boy pauses and looks around. Well. Let’s go all the way over there too, just for good measure.

Vriska’s hive, nine and a half. The girl is staring at a computer screen and typing in a bored manner. Why is she even speaking to him? Well probably because he’s the only one who’s online right now. Her finger slips back and forth the 8 key. She bares her fangs at what she is reading. No, she is not going to bring John to an alternian fine art museum. And no, for the last time, she doesn’t need to smooth her hair with Synthetic Hoofbeast Sweat mixed with Perfectly Generic Protein Sauce, half and half, with a drop of mind honey. Compounded and swirled at hive temperature. That’s stupid. He’s stupid. Is that really how he gets his hair to look like that? Wait. Would that even work?

Ten o’clock, in a quiet human house. John eats his two strudels as if they were the antidote that he needs to live. There are no peanuts in strudels right? He’s not going to get all sick on his date right? “John you are being stupid you eat strudels all the time”, says the inner Rose in his head. John hurriedly smashes the pastries down his mouth and then rakes with his teeth the cream left in the little plastic things. Why is he so hungry anyway? They still have some pop-tarts left in the cupboard, don’t they?

A quarter to eleven, at an alien mansion. Vriska is freaking out. This can be fixed right. Of course this can be fixed. She is going to fix this. she said she would come.

John’s room. John is exchanging words with a cool kid that is far away. The red text trickles down his screen. Oh come on. There’s no way he’s gonna do that! No, just, no. John takes another bite of pop-tarts and daydreams a bit.

Vriska’s room. A gray girl walks back and forth. It was a stupid idea, stupid stupid lame. But she is going to come and everything will be fine. So there!!!!!!!!

At the same time, John is plundering a large chest. Why did she vehemently say no to the fake arms? They’re a riot. Everybody loves ‘em. What does SHE know about a date anyway. She lives on a pacific island with a hellbeast! John looks at the plastic props and sadly puts them back in the chest.

A quarter and a half. An alien girl is walking in circles in her alien room. Suddenly she seems to relax, goes on her knees and rummages through a pile of broken black shells. She was pretty sure she had a few left? She saw one the other day? There it is! She snatches the magic eight ball in pristine condition. She walks toward a wall with nearly-dancing steps. Then she grins with all fangs and joyfully smashes it against the wall. She let go a sigh. She look at what is left in her hand as if it was an ugly thing that served its purpose. It is dripping. She dips a finger in the blue stuff and doodles a heart on a poster featuring a famous actor. Then she hears someone buzzing at the door and lifts her head with a gasp.

Eleven and a half, Egbert bathroom. John stands in front of the sink mirror. He happens to not be wearing a shirt. “I said”, says John with an unusual accent, “put the bunny. Back. In the. Box.”

Noon, Vriska’s house.  
“I cannot believe you would be endeavoured to wear destroyed clothing on a preliminary attempt of relationship.”  
“I don’t want you to meddle I want you to dress me!”  
“I was just attempting to convey what I believe to be reasonable fashion advice”  
“I don’t want to be late that’s all.”  
“I assure you that we won’t but you are aware that we are going to need a substantial amount of time to work on your hair. I do not understand what you were thinking when you did that”

Noon and a quarter, John’s house. Pesterlogs are getting filled, and the entire chat log is red text. The last sentences:  
“Okay I think we're good but one last thing before you go?”  
“John?’  
“Yeah?”  
“No derping.”

Noon and a half, alien bathroom. A girl is getting her hair cared for and arguing.  
“What do you mean, no spiderwebs? If you’re so great then what do YOU put in your hair?

Egbert residence. John goes down a flight of stairs and jumps the last two steps. Wait. Is that… Oh no. An odor of cake and burning fills the air. A kitchen door is opened.  
“Dad what are you doing!”  
“Son, I am proud of you.”  
“No I mean it dad what are you doing?”  
“Today is a special day”  
“No it’s not! How do you even know that anyway!”  
“I made you a cake”  
“I… That’s great dad. Thanks. But can you put it aside so I can eat it later?”  
“But it is for your special event.”  
“I can’t bring a whole cake!”  
“I made one for her too.”  
“DAD I’M GONNA BE LATE”

At the same time, at the front door of a hive with towers and bridges.  
“The make-up is fine right? Yeah?”  
“I assure you that it is acceptable now that I personally reapplied it.”  
“Right! Okay.”  
“Then I believe that what comes next is that you walk out and you meet the invididual”  
“Right! Okay.”  
Vriska makes two steps before turning back. She spreads her skirt and holds it like it's something icky.  
“This is how human girls look right?”  
“I beg you please just go.”

One o’clock minus fifteen minutes. Next time he's leaving earlier. Next time. But damn damn damn he’s gonna be late, he’s totally gonna be late.

One o’clock minus ten, Vriska is seriously considering not waiting after that red light any longer. She can make it across the street between two cars. She totally can. Finally, green!

One o’clock minus five. John is heaving and puffing. So that’s why they are always jogging in the movies. Is that the meeting spot over there? Suddenly Johns wishes he was going more slowly. Or maybe at a complete halt. Or maybe walking backward.

Vriska is walking with hurried steps. She is holding her hair with both hands. Don’t mess them, don’t mess them, don’t mess them.

John’s legendary overbite burries itself in his lower lip. What if she looks weird? I mean, really, really weird. She’s an alien, she’s an alien, she’s an alien.

Vriska stops, turns around, walk away. I’m an alien, I’m an alien, aliens can’t go on a human d8, why would I think that this was going to work. Then the girl stops. Spins around. She walks forward again. A d8 is a d8. _Yeah!!!!!!!!_

There’s someone over there oh god oh god well of course there was going to be someone. Get a grip on your mangrit John. No derping.

Is that him over there? He’s wearing blue. It has to be…

Yellow spikes on the head? No. Antennas? No. Horns. Ooookay I didn’t expect horns. Okay Egbert stop thinking. You can do this.

“SORRY I WAS LATE”  
“Are we?”  
“Am I?  
“Do you have a watch?”  
“No, no I don’t”  
“Hi.”  
“Yeah, hi. Hello.”  
“How you doing Vriska? You’re Vriska right?”  
“How are you doing John? I mean, of course that’s me. And I’m doing good. Fine. Great. Better than great. Yeah!!!!!!!!”  
“You look great.”  
“I always look great. I’m the best.”  
“That you are.”  
John freezes for a fraction of a second. Then he snaps back into it.  
“You wanna go over there?”


	2. Chapter 2

John had figured from the way that Vriska’s chatted on the internet that she would be the type of person that talks and talks and never stops. Well it turned out she didn’t. Or maybe she just didn’t do that right now? Rose is better than him at turning people inside out. But he wasn’t Rose. He was on a date and there was an alien girl walking silently next to him. Stay calm.

“I still think your hives are weird”, says suddenly the alien girl.  
John throws both hands in the air to prepare a dramatic statement.  
“I like our hives”, he says flatly.  
Red flag. That was almost a derp right there.

“I mean our houses. I think they’re nice. These are small. But we got some that are like really big!”  
“How big?”  
“Really, really big.”  
“Well then how big.”  
“Tall! Like this! Okay look at that one over there? Imagine one that’s taller. That building has like three floors? Well okay we have some that have like a hundred floors.”  
“A hundred?”  
“At least”, John nods with crossed arms. “There isn’t any in this suburb but they’re out there. A hundred floors. They call them skyscrapers.”

Vriska suddenly speaks in a very casual manner.  
“No wait seriously is the sky that low here?”, she says.  
“Uh?”, says John in surprise.

The strange girl looks up to the sky. Her yellow eyes already seemed big to John. Right now they feel downright gigantic. All big and orange. Like staring straight at Halloween. If you could stare at an annual holiday, which you can't because that's stupid. John twitches. He realizes he’s been staring at her eyes, with his mouth half-open, for a good ten second.

John snaps his mouth shut.  
“They don’t really scrape the sky”, he says quickly.  
Vriska’s attention goes back to him.  
“So they’re lying?”  
“Who’s lying?”  
“They.”  
“Who?”  
“Ah, nevermind. That hive over there is pretty cool. Yeah!”  
“Looks pretty rich. A mansion.”

The conversation comes to a halt. When Vriska talked it was a tsunami, and when she stopped it was an undertow. And John was flung like a puppet by the flow. Just as much as her explosive talk blew him away, her silence dragged him in. Dragged him towards her. Made him feel like he was going to crash into her and they would both fall on the sidewalk and he’d have to apologize.

“I want to go on one”, says Vriska.  
“What?”  
“A hive that goes right through the sky.”  
“We will”  
John Egbert why would you even say that what are you thinking?  
“Okay!” says Vriska with a smile full of fangs.  
Oh god Egbert she agreed to it and now you actually have to do it.

Vriska quickly walks ahead in a very dynamic manner and then turns around. Her dress whirls. She seems annoyed by it.  
“So what’s Olive Garden?”, she says.  
“You’ll like it”, answers John with casual confidence.  
“Yes but what is it? What’s an olive?”  
“It’s, hum, small. Small like this. It’s a vegetable. I think? No it’s a fruit. You can eat it. To be honest I don’t like them. But it makes oil too.”  
“So you don’t eat them?”  
“Well, no. Not me. Dad does.”  
“So why did you want to go to a garden full of it?”

John though he would be at a loss for words again. But it’s not what happens. He finds himself chuckling heartily. Even he is surprised at it. For some reason that makes him laugh even more. Vriska has no idea why he’s laughing. And then she probably no idea why she’s suddenly giggling too. John puts an arm on her shoulder.

Then he stops. He realises he's kinda grabbing unto her hair. And it must be weird. Why would he do that? He lets go of the clump of hair and his hand snaps back, fast like a snake. Then John pushes back his glasses on his nose, looks at the clouds in the sky and scratches his head.

No really, why did I do that? Okay whatever just keep talking.

“No no no, Vriska, it’s a restaurant. They have crazy names. Means nothing.”

He looks at her. She didn’t notice the hair grab right? Yeah right Egderp. Then why is she holding her hair with both hands and looking at the ground? Her face is blue. Did you just make your date sick? Smooth move. Quick, stop looking.

“So yeah, restaurant names”, John mutters.  
“Restaurant uh”, she mutters.

She comes back to her senses as if a lightning bolt had struck her.

“So yeah it’s like Sollux’s thing! I know it. I know all about it. They have a Nutritional Mainframe at these Communal Hive Stem. With feeding droids and everything. I’ve never been to one. But I figure it’s like eating in your respiteblock except it’s huge and there are other trolls and they’re all eating. Which must be weird yeah!”  
“That’s… exactly what a restaurant is. Yup. Ha ha that’s it.”  
“And do humans have a biorestoration chart too?”  
“A what what what?  
“To select your biosource”  
“Yeah we have that too.”  
“And when you select your biosource but there isn’t any left, is it the same? You issue a Feeding Right Challenge and then when you win you acquire the other troll’s nutrition as Procedural Stimulus?”

John has no idea what to begin to say.

“Uh no. I don’t think so.”  
“Don’t think what?”  
“I don’t think we have that.”  
“Oh.”

Vriska seems to stare at something far away. Then she shooks her head strongly. Hair goes all over the place.  
“Oh okay then!”


	3. Chapter 3

John and Vriska walk alongside each other for some time. John picks quiet side streets. The autumn air is cold. The kind of cold air that sneaks all the way to the back of your sinuses. The kind of cold air that makes everything sounds either too quiet or too loud. And you can never decide which.

As he turns his head to look at her, John notices that Vriska is fidgeting with her left sleeve.

"You're okay?"  
She jumps and let got of her sleeve.

"I'm always okay. I'm the best"  
John points ahead.

"There. It's over there."  
"The Nutritional Mainframe?"  
"Yep."  
"But it's not in an Hivestem."  
"I guess not. There, it's the one over there. Do you see it? Right there."  
"Is it the Service Structure with the white roof?"  
"Nuh-uh. One to the left. Red roof."  
"Right!"

Late autumn snow starts falling around them. Vriska suddenly stops walking. Not with a bang, but slowly and quietly, until she's immobile with both feet planted on the pavement. John slows down as well and then stops where he stands. He looks at her. He looks around. There isn't anybody else in sight. A car goes by in the street. A bird cries really far away.

"You okay?", says John

John tries to discern on Vriska's face what is wrong. How is he supposed to tell? She's an alien. She could be feeling anything and he wouldn't have a clue where to start looking. When Jodie Foster met an alien in Contact, it took the form of her dad. And you know what? That makes sense. That's super great. Instead, he has an actual alien. So how are you supposed to know how it is feeling? You don't. And there she go, she looks blue again. Stop making your date sick, Egbert.

"Are you okay Vriska?"  
"I just...", begins Vriska lazily. She never ends the sentence. More snow is falling. It starts to nest in Vriska's hair. She just stands there.

John takes a step forward.  
"It's just snow. It does nothing"  
"I know that."  
"So then what."  
John was under the impression that John Cusack had suddenly stolen Vriska's sport car and turned it into a heap of scrap metal with the help of a C-123 filled with runaway convicts. And all in front of her in the span of a second. He nudged towards her slightly. Vriska blinked.  
"It's just...", said Vriska, "We're here outside. And now. And it's real."  
"Come on Vriska let's go"

John grabs his date by the arm and urges her forward. He's not sure what that was about. But Dave did warn him that all girls are weird. So aliens girl too.

Plexiglass doors are pushed open. A wall of hot air befalls them as they enter the building. John notices that Vriska's cheeks are puffed with surprise. He though for a second that she would show excitement in a weird alien way. Like, her horns would start twitching, or her long ears would flap like wings. Anything out of the ordinary. Well she doesn't. She just looks at everything. She stares as if looking was drinking and she was thirsty like she's never been.

"Let's take the table over there."  
Vriska doesn't say anything. John starts walking and she follows him.

She grabs the tail of his coat.  
"They won't think that I'm weird?", says Vriska with some disbelief. "Aren't these other humans going to stare at me? Because I'm alien?"  
"Nope. It's fine. Nobody cares."  
"Why would they be fine with it?"  
"It's a long story. Here we can sit here. Whaddya want to eat?"

Vriska looks at John as if he just pulled a prank on her. John clears his throat and repeats himself.  
"What do you want to eat Vriska?"  
"I don't know!", she nearly yells.  
"Well I don't know what you want either!"  
"Well of course I don't know! Okay John Egbert. What do YOU eat here?"  
"Anything with Alfredo sauce is yummy."  
"Well then I want that!"  
"Fettuccine Alfredo then."  
"I have no idea what that means."  
"It's what we're having."  
"Great! Yeah!"  
"I think you'll like it."  
"Damn right I'll like it."

John gets the waiter's attention. As he comes to the table, Vriska's fingers suddenly clutches her section of the table. John looks at her way while he gave his order. Her fingers on the ceramic table seems long and thin. John was reminded of twitching spider legs, in a manner that is half-freaky and half-elegant.

"... And that'll be all. Oh and breadsticks too."  
"Thank you. Anything to drink?"  
"Just water."  
"And the lady too?"  
Vriska nearly let go a welp.  
"Everything's fine", she quips.

"I'll be back in a moment", says the human as he leaves. Vriska let go of her held breath.  
"What's wrong?" says John  
"He's an ADULT"  
"He works here."  
"Yes but whatever, how, how can you be friend with an adult? You can speak with him, just like that?"  
John yawns.  
"I... I guess so. Is there something special about meeting adults? I mean, adult trolls?"  
"Nope! Nope. Everything fine. Perfectly normal John. I'm hungry John. Where's the food John?"  
"Food's getting here"  
"We have to wait?"  
"Yeah sure. For some time. They look busy today."  
"They got irons in the fire. I can understand that."

Vriska pretends to be patient. It doesn't last long. Soon she starts working out her waiting frustration by kicking a table leg. Bang bang bang. Then she gets tired of it and seems to reminisce about old things. She slips very far away.

John is pooring two glasses of water from the pitcher when she snaps back to reality. Surprised at first, then relaxed. She relaxes so much that she slouches, no, she melts down her seat. Just a little more and she'd be all over the floor.

"This is just weird", she says quietly. She looks at the ceiling.  
"What is?"  
"Being awake at this time of the day. Going outside. Just walking. Without anything in your hands."  
John blinks a few times.  
"What?"  
"Oh, you know. Your planet is all upside-down. We're here outside in the middle of the day instead of sleeping. And you have a sun. A sun that doesn't burn you, I mean. You can just walk around and see everything. You don't have that normally. It's the night. We have moons that lit things up a bit when you're lucky, but there are clouds too. You'll have a FlashGrub in your hands. Especially when it's not a bilunar perigee or if it's the Dark Season. You can't FLARP outside unless it's the Dim Season. Oh and I don't see a single person with weapons here. Even adults! You can just open your door and walk out of your hive. Go as far as you want, anytime."

John felt completely lost by all this.  
"Well I guess things are pretty different here", he says finally.  
"Hell yeah they are!"  
"And is it different in a bad manner?"  
"I dunno. Everything is just... so free and easy and stupid."  
"And is that different in a bad manner?"  
"I dunno."  
Vriska shrugs.


	4. Chapter 4

"What kind of food do you usually eat Vriska?"  
"I don't eat much. Custodian stuff."

Vriska seems to quickly regret saying that.  
"I mean", she adds after swallowing hard, "Any food is great. Yeah! I like food. Well if I had to say, well. I would say that my favorite kind of snack is squirmies."  
"What?"  
"Squirmies. You must have that? It's food that is living stuff."  
"Oh you mean like meat? Animal food? We have that too."  
"Well if that's what you call it when your food tries to struggle, then yeah, that's it!"  
"What, you mean...It's still... And you, WOW!"

John feels very hot all of a sudden. Do they really eat... Change of subject, come on John, change of subject! He grabs his glass of water and drinks it in one shot. He slam the empty glass on the table like a judge's gavel.  
"Aaaaah! So! Vriska! What kind of movies do you like?"

Vriska thinks about it for some time.  
"I never watched a lot of movies. They're Karkat's stuff. I don't have the time to read their stupid dumb long titles. I have way too many irons in the fire for that. No. Okay. I used to watch a few. There was a serie about a Marine Overlord that I followed on grubstream. It ended last sweep. It was good. Really great blackrom actor. You have that right? It's too bad that *he* couldn't be more like *him*. Oh yeah! There was also a really cool movie that I liked. Like, way cool. It was supposed to be based on true events but you know how it goes, they always mess things up. They took out all the good slavery scenes. Oh and they messed up the name of her flagship. But aside from that it was pretty great! We should watch it sometimes."  
"Yeah we should!" says John.

John pours himself a new glass of water and starts drinking it.  
"So, do they have any squirmies here?"  
John chokes and spits out a few drops of water.  
"I don't think so", he manages to croak.  
"What about olives? Do they come as squirmies or are they all cadavermeals?"  
"...dead food."  
"Oh I see. So the speciality of the restaurator here is cadavermeals? Not that there's anything wrong with that!"  
"Restaurant, Vriska. And I guess that's a yes."  
"Cool!"

The food came.

Vriska's pupils went downward to look at her plate while pretending that she didn't. She is a terrible actor, John notices. Vriska keeps staring, and then her neck bends, then her head goes lower. Next thing you know, she is bent down all the way, both palms on the ceramic table, like some great druid trying to decipher the future in animal entrails.

Then something seems to click in Vriska's head. She snaps back into a sitting position; she does it so quickly that it sends her hair up. And they stay stranded and crazy like fire on her head.  
"Hey! You guys have wormnests!"

The alien girl lightens up like a christmas tree as she shows John the scariest smile he has ever seen. It's like like staring at a JAWS poster. Except it does the opposite of wanting you to run away. Which was dumb. It doesn't make a lot of sense to WANT to get closer to a giant mouth full of pointy teeth. But still, Vriska seems so happy that John doesn't have the heart to correct her.

"Yeah! I though you'd like it!"  
"Would be better as squirmies but still, wormnests! What's all that stuff on it?"  
"It's what they put on, yeah, on the worms here. Alfredo sauce. It's cheese. It's made with milk."  
"Hoofbeast stuff yeah? Don't care. It's wormnests! If Equius was here I'd give him all of the slime so I'd just have the worms for myself!"  
She probably would, though John.

John picks his forks. On her side, Vriska picks up her entire plate and starts making the flood slide down the edge, into her mouth, in the most discourteous manner he has ever seen.  
"Uh Vriska?", says John  
Vriska doesn't seems to hear him.  
"Vriska!"  
"Whaf is ith?", she says with her mouth full. Then she chews her food and swallows it hard. John was half surprised she didn't make the sound of a paper shredder when she ate.

"Vriska, we have these thing."  
John holds up a fork. Well, a spork. You can't go anywhere without finding sporks. It's the next conspiracy after Betty Crocker.

Vriska's tongue flicker to clean her fangs and she wipes her mouth with her sleeve.  
"Stabbers, yeah! What about it? We don't need 'em. It's cadaverfood. And I don't even use them for squirmies. Takes out all the fun. Yeah!"  
"Well sorry! It's what humans do Vriska!"  
"Oh."

Vriska picks her cutlery. Then she starts viciously poking her plate of food.  
"Take that and that! There! You guys are a lot more hardcore than I though. Didn't think you would stab things that are already dead just for the hell of it."  
"You eat with it too", John pointed out.  
"Oh okay!"

Vriska starts wielding her knife and spork in each fist. Then she begins eating. She looks like a gladiator who is fighting to the death. Fighting with his food. John giggles.  
"Oh shush!", says Vriska.  
John starts eating. And as he does, he realises that he's never been so hungry in his life. And the food seems to do little on his hunger.


	5. Chapter 5

John and Vriska talk over their food for a long time. They talk about actors and their trollish versions. John talks about pranking and Vriska rambles about where to find ghostships and treasures. Vriska tries to explain the troll caste system to John and he doesn't understand. John tries to explain to Vriska what was so special about having a black president in Deep Impact and she doesn't understand.  
"But he has the same blood as everybody right?"

John talks about magic tricks, and explains all the things he could do without explaining how he could do them. Which is very hard for him to do because at every trick he describes, Vriska taunts him that it is impossible.

They talk about games and books and music (troll music band names are WEIRD) and they talk about how they met their online friends. They talk about roleplaying and Vriska explains why Mindfang is the best character of all time. Vriska rambles about FLARP and every way to break the rules without breaking the rules. John blinks a lot as he nibbles on breadsticks. He doesn't understand a single thing but it doesn't matter.

 

When they are good and done away with their food, Vriska pretends to be poisoned and then kicks John under the table because of how hard she giggles. Then she says that the food was alright and John smiles. It wasn't one of those smile that you do on purpose, John found. It just sorta happened on his face without asking.

John pays the note and leaves a tip, they grab their coats, transparent doors are opened. Outside is still as midly cold. They walk alongside each other again. The snow begins falling anew and they talk about all the things they could do on their next d8.

Then Vriska flatly stops walking in the middle of the street again.

"What comes next?", she pouts.  
"Plenty of things!", says John all excited. "For the next date! We have movies to watch. Games to play. I have all these magic tricks to show!"  
"Right"  
Vriska starts fidgeting with her left sleeve again.  
"And then you have to see my room!", continues John. "Or you have to show me your hive! I mean wow, you have an entire house! For humans that is pretty crazy do you know that Vriska?"  
"Yeah I guess it is"  
John's arms fell flat to his side. She was avoiding his eyes. And still not moving.  
"Well what's wrong?"  
John waits.  
"But what happens next?", says Vriska.  
She shuffles her feet and repeats herself.  
"What happens next John? Is it going to be like this everytime? We talk, we have fun, but then we leave and I lose everything all over again?"  
"What do you mean Vriska? You didn't have fun today?"

Vriska flushes fully blue again, but this time, does not try to hide it. She whirls about and her face flies into John's face in a flash of anger.  
"That's what's wrong!!!!!!!! I had a lot of fun, I really really did!"  
She steps backward and speaks even louder.  
"I HAD SO MUCH FUN"  
She stomps her foot.  
"SO WHY DOES IT HAVE TO STOP?"  
She lifts her hands and let them fall to her sides.  
"So yeah! Why does it have to stop? IT DOESN'T HAVE TO!"

She spins and walks away a few steps. Then she throws her arms wide open. Something about her clicks in John's head. The whole picture in front of him clicks in his head. The way she stood facing away. Her fancy dress, red boots, her scarf. Her colorful horns sticking out to the heavens and making her like a small devil. The snow falling about her. The snow in her hair. Her arms outstretched. That was it, it was especially the arms that did it for him. It was like she could hug the entire world or crush it dead. When she threw an embrace in empty air she held the world in her arms. She just wanted everything.

And John finds that he wouldn't mind giving it to her.  
"Hey Vriska"  
John walks towards his internet alien girlfriend. A smile manifests on his face, and down his throat and inside him, feeling as if he drank something very warm. It was like he remembered an incredibly funny joke, but there was no joke and all he was doing was looking at her.  
"Hey Vriska!"  
"What?", she pouts. Her arms fall down.  
John grabs her and spins her around. This time, he is the one in her face.  
"Go get your pyjamas!"  
"We don't sleep in...", starts Vriska  
"Your hoodie! God Tier outfit! Whatever you want to call it! Just go get it okay? I'll get mine!"  
Vriska stares at him, bewildered. Her lips part open.  
"We're going flying! I told ya we'd find a hive that goes through the sky"

Vriska looks at John, swallows and nods.  
The d8 was going to end well.

 **

THE END  
EVERYBODY WAS HAPPY FOREVER

**


End file.
